Dr Nicolya Williams

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Learning To Deal With Difficult People

I am a firm believer that you should be learning something new EVERY single day. I look to learn from the environment, traffic, my children, my family, my clients and my friends. Each day I am shocked what my take away's are and how much have grown from being open to learn. Today I want to discuss how you can learn from those people in your life who are difficult.​

​Are there others around you, day in and day out, who make you uncomfortable or stressed out? Wouldn’t you love to change the dynamics of your experiences with them?
 
The existence of difficult people can be viewed as an opportunity to learn. What can you pick up from these people, and how can it benefit you? Can they teach you more about the world and your role?
 
Try these strategies and see if you don’t feel differently about those who present challenges: 
 

1.    See difficult people as teachers. They may be in your life to teach you a valuable lesson.

 

○     What can you learn from a difficult person in your life? What lessons can you pick up from interacting with this person? Even if it’s only to teach you patience, they are valuable to you in some way.

 

○     Why does this person remain in your life?

 

2.    See difficult people as messengers. Perhaps they’re revealing to you a part of your personality that could use some work or healing. They may trigger thoughts and feelings in you that require some thought and soul searching.

 

○     For example, a person who annoys you with constant talking may be triggering the part of you that could work on communication. Why are you bothered by the extensive talking, and what does it really mean?

 

3.    Learn to change reactions. If a difficult person can’t be avoided, it will benefit you to learn to live with them. One method to embrace this type of person involves learning to change your reaction.

 

○     You may be used to reacting to this person with anger or frustration. However, if you reacted with calmness and understanding, instead, not only will it put you in control of the interaction, but you might also discover a whole new facet of their personality.


It’s important to keep in mind that even difficult people have feelings and can get hurt. They need love and understanding just as much or more than anyone else. Change your reaction to them and you might even find a new friend.