How to find your calling

The concept of “the calling” (not just a “job” or “vocation”) has been widely used to describe our personal purpose in life. Our calling is the reason why we were born and the legacy we will leave to the world.

It seems so easy for some people: they go to school and know the major to choose. Then, they graduate and know the exact path their career and life will take. They have found their life’s calling. But what happens if it’s not that easy.

• Maybe you feel like you have no clue

• Maybe you thought you had a clue but realize you have been climbing the wrong ladder

• Maybe you have tried a million different ideas and nothing feels like it quite fits

You’re not alone.

I got a question in my DM about finding my calling and supporting my daughters at doing the same.

My response felt so aligned and I knew immediately I needed to share this beyond my inbox so that is what we will chat about today!

A big misconception to finding your calling is that it should be all rainbows and butterflies. Your calling won’t fit in a box and therefore it will be both exciting AND scary. It will force you to step outside of your comfort zone. To do things you’ve never done before. To be visible in the world. It’ll test you. Stretch you. Challenge you. Break you, but it will be worth it

How to know if you found your calling

Every calling is great when greatly pursued." -- Oliver Wendell Holmes

Most of us go through our lives with a clear sense (or maybe just a nagging feeling deep inside) that we're not living up to our full potential. We have this intuitive hit that there is more to life than the 9-to-5 job, getting married, buying the house with a white picket fence, having kids and saving enough money for a comfortable retirement.

I am here to validate that you’re right, there is more to life than that.

With all the possibilities, desires and "shoulds," it can be hard to decipher what your true calling is and what's simply a fleeting desire or whim.

Callings find you and draw you toward them. After all they are magnetic. They start as a tiny nagging thought or feeling, then begin to consume your mind and drive your everyday life. They can't be ignored and when you tune in you feel so aligned.

Here are some tell tale signs to show you that you have found your calling….

You would do it if no one paid you- Getting paid is great, but it’s not the thing that motivates you. When you think about your calling it’s something you are likely already doing or would continue to do just because you truly enjoy it. You know the old saying that goes as- if you love what you do you will never work a day in your life.

You’ll realize you’ve been training for your calling since the moment you were born- what is that thing you do with little to no effort. For me, as long as I can recall I have been counseling, coaching and holding space for people. I remember being around 12 years old and going to the bathroom at the movie theatre and a grown woman asked me for support to escape an abusive spouse. This was not a coincidence- this was shining a light into my calling.

A pervasive sense of peace when doing what you do- While going after you big vision can feel risky you will likely feel this crazy amount of calm. I remember telling my family and friends I was ready to become a coach and they thought I was insane to “let everything go” that I had worked so hard for. Even with their well meaning feedback it still made sense to do what I desired even when it made no sense to anyone else.

You’re eager to learn everything about it- If you looked at my nightstand you would see its covered in personal development and entrepreneurial books. If you paid attention to how I spend money you would also see a large majority of my investments are in coaching and scaling my business, And don’t get me started on my internet search history which is all about increasing my impact as a coach. These are all signs that this is where my heart is leading me.

You start to notice synchronicities- Synchronicity is a concept defined by Carl Jung, which means that events are meaningful coincidences. In mathematics, when two angles are to fit perfectly together, it’s called a coincidence. In life, when things click together, it makes perfect sense. For me when I am moving toward a part of my vision I see back to back angel numbers. This is usually a sign for me of confirmation. When I was enrolling my daughter in track I kept seeing ads for spikes and movies with people running. It’s almost as if my external world will validate my internal drive.

It’s bigger than you - Another way that you can tell if something you're moving towards your calling, is it's so much bigger than you? If you are focused on accomplishing a goal or moving towards something you desire and it's all around, what can this do for me? Oh, I just really want to make a lot of money, or I just really want to have a lot of freedom. Don't get me wrong, freedom and money are wonderful things. These are reasons that I continue to move towards my vision, right?

But it's also so much bigger than me. Because for me, the reason my calling showed up is because I always ask. Myself, what decision can I make today. That my future self will thank me for? And in what way can I leave.

A legacy that lives far beyond myself, right? And so it became so much bigger than me. I remember writing my very first book, and I had this deep desire to.

Become an author for years. In writing my first book, there are a lot of reasons that I could give up. There are a lot of reasons why it became really hard or became overwhelming or I wanted to throw in that proverbial tile.

But then I would always ask myself. Like, is me sleeping in? Or is me Netflix-ing?

Is me ignoring this goal going to. Get me closer to my purpose?

Is this going to be what leaves a legacy for my children?

And it wasn't that's how I knew it was my calling.

Because if it came so much bigger than what it was for me, right, it became so much bigger than that.

So when you think about your calling. It’s about evolution and contribution of the gifts you have to bring to humanity, and perhaps the greatest gift you can give is yourself.

Your “why” is so much bigger. And because your why is so much bigger, you make room for your how.

Let me explain.

So when your “why” lights you up, its going to give you momentum. So for me, leaving a legacy was my why. And so even when I didn't have the financial means to invest, even when I didn't know how I was going.

To have time to invest, even as a single busy mom trying to balance.

Sorry about that alarm clock. Even as a busy single mom trying to balance my children and my job.

And all of these things, I kept showing up because it was so much bigger than me.

And my why made room for my house because I was determined not to give up.

I was determined.

The reality is that someone somewhere is waiting on you to.

Do what you're called to do.

And when you play small, you sell not only yourself short, but you sell the entire world short,

When figuring out your calling it is not as simple as you’d like. Of course, we all want to do work that matters, to know we are accomplishing what God created us to do. But the truth is that discovering your life’s work is a challenging journey full of twists and turns.

Here are some questions that you can reflect on to support you with finding your purpose:

Ask yourself the miracle question- If you woke up tomorrow, and a miracle happened so that you could have everything you desired what would you have? What you be spending your time doing?

Notice the things your friends and family think that you’re good at. What are things they come to you to ask for support with?

What are things that light you up?

What do you think about before bed and wake up looking forward to?

As you consider these questions, I challenge you to sit still with your thoughts - your calling should integrate into everything else that you do, not competing with but complementing your values and priorities.

Until you find your calling, your soul will keep looking for that one thing you were born for. Everyone was born to do something unique so let your authentic self show! Steve jobs once said, “The Only Way To Do Great Work Is To Love What You Do. If You Haven’t Found It Yet, Keep Looking. Don’t Settle”.

I used to think that a calling was simple and easy. Now, I understand that it’s so much more. Your calling doesn’t make you immune to failure nor does it guarantee security and safety, but what i can guarantee is your calling with stretch you.

In what ways can you make room for your unique gifts today?