STOP The Negative Self Talk
Stop Negative Self-Talk Before It Utters Another Word
As humans, we’re sometimes very hard on ourselves. Whether we’re conscious of it or not, our beliefs can sometimes be very damaging to our self-esteem. Unfortunately, these negative talking points in our head sometimes keep us stuck in a rut.
Pay Attention to Triggers
The first step to stopping negative self-talk is figuring out what is triggering these negative beliefs in the first place. Are you in conflict with another? Did something not go your way? Further, triggers can also be incredibly personal to you and unique to your life. These are sometimes referred to as “red flags.” Red flags are issues that pertain to you alone, such as your weight, family and close relationships, integrity, and anything else that you deem sacred. When these issues get raised, they immediately set off an alarm within you.
Identify Irrational Beliefs
These irrational beliefs are the real culprits behind why we get upset or angry at the triggers we’ve just experienced.By identifying and then changing these beliefs, we can experience fewer emotional consequences.
Dispute Irrational Beliefs
The idea behind identifying these negative, irrational beliefs is so you can do something to change them. You can change them by challenging these beliefs. This is a process of examining the truth and reality and seeing that it is different from your belief.
Some of these challenge questions may be:
- What is the truth in this situation?
- Do I have evidence to support that my current beliefs are true?
- In the example above: Are there times when my boss has been fair?
- Is it true that I’ll never advance in my career, or is this just a minor setback?
These questions can help you identify the truth from what you may erroneously believe or negatively think about a situation. If you can identify the truth, this can lead you to think differently and avoid suffering the emotional consequences of the trigger in the first place. Follow this process whenever you notice thoughts that are unkind to you. Change your beliefs and will in turn change your life.
