Dating After Divorce
After a divorce, there can be a lot of struggles when it comes to dating. Some women struggle with the idea that no relationships are good or healthy and so they go into what I call a turtle shell of hiding from any semblance of a relationship.Some women struggle with the idea of being single and so they come off as desperate and they settle for any relationship that comes their way.Finally, some women choose to focus on healing and then make room for dating when the time is right. Sadly the latter is the least likely to happen.Research says that we should wait at least 2 years after a divorce to begin dating again. I say there is no time limit you can put on the process. It truly looks different for each individual person.When you think about it when you’re in a relationship for a really long time most of your identity is wrapped into the title of being with somebody and being someone’s wife. It can be a harsh reality to have to re-adjust to the single life. This is where many women get stuck. They begin to question their worth, they rush the healing process as a way to cope with difficult thoughts and emotions. In turn, they stuck in a cycle of pain, hurt, depression, and anxiety.I process healing is much more important than dating.Now I understand that you may feel the pressure or the desire to date again. But before you jump right into it I want you to ask yourself why do you want to date?If you’re looking for dating to fill a void that’s a clear sign that you’re not ready to date. Unfortunately, a lot of women end up dating their ex because they haven’t healed the part of themselves that attracts that person. This is why I tell women when going through a divorce to focus on healing and when that happens room for dating will come.The 2nd step after highlighting the reason you want to date is to determine what you’re looking for in a person. The rules of dating have totally changed. This can be overwhelming for those ready to get back on the scene. If you have some standards it helps you weed out those that do not fit right away to avoid wasting your precious time.3rd step- do not rush the process. Dating is something you must approach with an attentive ear and eye and also standards. Standard set the tone for how you will allow people to treat you so do not back down on those. Be sure to be focused and patient during the process the outcome of this will make it all worth it.While the idea of healing may seem overwhelming or even somewhat unbearable I do want to say that not all hope is lost. You can discover yourself after divorce and start again and live a life that you actually enjoy. In order to be able to do that you have to make healing a priority.
